


Caught In the Middle

by kittykat2892



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Dragon Age Kink Meme, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I can't even, M/M, Spoilers, This DLC, Trespasser DLC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 06:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4777409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittykat2892/pseuds/kittykat2892
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~TRESPASSER DLC SPOILERS~</p>
<p>~TRESPASSER DLC SPOILERS~</p>
<p>How can Lin'ariel Lavellan's companions even begin to gather the shattered pieces of their Inquisitor's heart?</p>
<p>For a prompt off the DA Kink Meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught In the Middle

**Author's Note:**

> Again I will say that this story contains spoilers for the Trespasser DLC. Please don't read this if you haven't completed the game.
> 
> Second, I rarely go on the DA Kink Meme to write, but this prompt called out to me. I couldn't ignore it. Basically, Trespasser happens, but we see the Inquisitor's companions find her and we get their reactions.
> 
> Third, there is a bit of background before we get into the main story. Simply put, everyone's Inquisitor is different, and I wanted to introduce my Lin'ariel and the state of the world.
> 
> Fourth, Leliana was made Divine.

None of the Inquisition’s major players doubted that Lin’ariel Lavellan would do anything within her power to find Solas. Though she kept it to herself over the long two years following his disappearance, her friends were aware of her pain. Seeing her again at Halamshiral for the Exalted Council after having lost physical contact for so long reinforced their inherent need to protect her as she could not protect herself.

Varric decided to make her a comtesse immediately following his inauguration as Kirkwall’s Viscount. With her clan destroyed and Skyhold emptying, she had nowhere to call home. He thought he might overstep his boundaries with the offer. Seeing the tears in her ice-blue eyes and partaking of the following hug when he also handed her the Key to the City both broke and warmed his heart.

Sera wanted to make her a Red Jenny. No one knew quite how that would work, what with the big Inquisitor title, but Sera felt she needed to not only offer her friend a stable life after the Inquisition but also an apology. Though Lin’ariel refused, the resulting hopeful smile meant more than the world to Sera.

Cassandra couldn’t help but kick herself about bringing up marriage. She had been pleased to think her friend had finally moved on from Solas’s memory and eager to meet the person that healed such a deep wound. The pain when the Inquisitor understood Cassandra’s meaning dashed those hopes. Lin’ariel clung to Cassandra’s declaration of friendship, though, and managed to stay above water.

Cole, more human than ever, felt Lin’ariel’s pain even as she cooed over his relationship with Maryden. Sadness tore at his heart. She still wanted everyone else to be happy even while her own heart continued to shatter. He opened his mouth to apologize, that he didn’t mean to hurt one of his closest friends, but she had already disappeared. He didn’t know whether to find her and try to ease her pain or find and curse Solas for his actions.

Iron Bull and Krem, having been around Skyhold for the majority of the two years, knew how to distract the Inquisitor. Though everyone knew it impossible, Lin’ariel attempted to help surprise the Qunari. He acted interested though the tone in his voice often made her shrink, thinking him annoyed. Every time she did, he would squeeze her shoulder and guide her back onto her seat, ever the stabilizing pillar in an uncontrollable storm.

Even Vivienne, despite their differences, offered friendship in her own way with the strange cheese spa. Never one to beat around the bush, Vivienne broached the subject of Solas within moments, asking after the Inquisitor’s wellbeing. Suggesting, as she had every other time, to leave his memory amounted to little, but her reassurance that Lin’ariel could always speak with her rewarded Vivienne with the tiniest of smiles.

Dorian saw the moment when he broke Lin’ariel’s heart. Throughout the Inquisition’s time, Lin’ariel had clung to Dorian just as much as she did Iron Bull. Admitting his permanent return to Tevinter broke another piece of her heart that his gift barely repaired. She had accepted the gift, folding her hands around it and holding it to her heart as her lip quivered in the only sign of emotion she allowed.

The only time she had brightened was when she walked through the Eluvians. Even in the midst of the beginning of a war with the Qunari, the Inquisitor found time to study pages scattered throughout the lands connected to the elven mirrors. She had a purpose again—one that included her friends and made it feel like old times even as the Anchor siphoned away her life. Finding Solas was a wonderful and terrible side benefit.

Solas felt Lin’ariel’s every entrance into the Fade, her every stride through an Eluvian, her every arrow centered upon an unlucky Qunari. He also felt her heart stutter with each use of the Anchor. He could do no more to repair the damage he had caused except to remove the problem. The final kiss shouldn’t have happened but he couldn’t resist. He could never resist the one and only true love of his long life.

Then Solas disappeared again. Lin’ariel stared at the Eluvian in front of her, willing him to return. He never did. Her friends found her where Solas had left her—kneeling in front of the Eluvian, armless, Anchor-less, soulless, shattered.

* * *

“Lin, sweetheart, snap out of it.” Dorian knelt in front of the Inquisitor, snapping his fingers in front of her vacant eyes. She stared through him, tears streaming down her bare cheeks.

“She’s floundering. The shock and sadness are digging too deep, catching at every imperfection.” Cole, tears in his own eyes, sat beside Lin’ariel and hugged her shoulders. “She can’t climb out.”

Bull swore in Qunlat, his eyes blazing. “What did that damned mage do to her? She didn’t deserve this.”

“Old wrongs needing to be made right. He wanted to stay with her but he thinks they need him more.” Cole’s muffled voice resounded from Lin’ariel’s shoulder. “Getting rid of the Anchor was the last good thing he could do to make up for his mistakes on this end.”

Frowning, Dorian ran his knuckles along her cheek, brushing away the tears. “We must return to Halamshiral. Being here does her no good. Amatus,” he said, glancing up at Iron Bull.

“No problem. Kid, you’re going to have to let go.” Bull’s voice softened now whenever he spoke to Cole.

The boy nodded and scooted back, swiping his sleeve across his eyes. Iron Bull bent, his large hands gentler than anyone thought possible, and scooped Lin’ariel into his arms. He cradled her against his chest, hushing her as he would a child when she made a distressed noise. Cole and Dorian flanked Bull, alert for any movement from the Qunari statues or other threats though they watched her from the corner of their eyes.

Once they started walking away from the Eluvian, Lin’ariel came back to life. She blinked at the fresh tears welling in her eyes and fought against Bull’s grip.

“No, I can’t leave! He needs me,” she wailed, wriggling enough to look over Bull’s shoulder at the locked Eluvian. “Solas, please.” The Eluvian remained dark. “Solas… Solas!” Her cracking voice echoed in the silence.

Lin’ariel broke into full-body sobs. Her breathing quickened, her heart fluttered, her body shook, and she beat against Bull’s chest with her hand and the stump of her arm. Solas’s name continued to fly from her lips, begging and pleading for the mage not to leave her again.

Bull let the Inquisitor lean against his shoulder in order to watch the large mirror until they left the area. Lin’ariel collapsed once out of sight of the large Eluvian. He stopped, rearranging her position with care until she rested once more in the crook of his arms against his chest. His own cheeks glistened with silent tears.

The trek back through the Eluvians saw Lin’ariel’s condition worsen. By the time the group reached the Halamshiral Eluvian, Cole had brought her out of three panic attacks. Dorian had staunched the blood flow from the stump of her arm. She hit it against the side of one of the mirrors as she tried to keep from leaving by holding onto the edges. Bull took every punch, every hit, every scratch without a single noise of complaint, all the while wishing it were that easy to fix a broken heart.

Exiting the Crossroads brought the ragged group face-to-face with a few Inquisition soldiers and every single one of its main members. The relieved looks lasted only seconds until they took in the sight of their friend and Inquisitor.

“What happened?” Cassandra moved first, approaching Bull and Lin’ariel. She ran her fingers across the elf’s feverish forehead and through her sweat-soaked hair. The Seeker flinched at the vacant look Lin’ariel had reassumed.

Dorian glanced around, discreet in the movement but obvious in his meaning. Vivienne took the hint.

“We should get our dear friend settled in her room before word spreads.” Vivienne straightened, turning her imperious manner on the surrounding soldiers. “Not a word is to be said of this. She has returned and will speak when ready. Absolutely no visitors will be permitted until then. Understand?” The soldiers, under the full force of Madame de Fer, nodded and scrambled out of the room. The mage turned back to Lin’ariel. Calm and collected as she sounded, her pale cheeks spoke volumes of her worry.

The group, with Bull in the lead carrying the Inquisitor, skirted the large crowds throughout Halamshiral with Sera and Cole’s help. They were in the hall of the Inquisitor’s room when Arl Teagan and Duke Cyril appeared around the opposite corner. Tension struck the air full-force. Fighters bristled, their hands creeping toward absent swords. Lightning crackled between Dorian’s fingers even as ice pooled around Vivienne’s. Cole and Varric hung toward the sides, freeing their movements. Sera held no qualms about showing exactly how she felt.

“Friggin’ arsebiscuit nobles can’t even understand proper words,” she shouted, her cheeks reddening as she stomped ahead. The two nobles ignored her, but she wouldn’t let them. “What, it’s not that hard to understand, in’net? Inky’s not takin’ any visitors right now. She’ll deal with your stupid talks when she gets ‘round to it.” Sera spread her feet apart, set her hands on her hips, and rooted herself in the middle of the hall to block the two men.

“Divine Victoria told us of the situation. Why were we not informed when the dead Qunari was found?” Duke Cyril ignored Sera, looking over her shoulder and trying to catch a glimpse of Lin’ariel.

“This is exactly the problem with the Inquisition. They continue going behind Thedas’s back and causing trouble. A war with the Qunari could have destroyed our lands.” Arl Teagan glowered at Sera. “Get out of my way, elven wench. I will speak with the Inquisitor.”

Sera shook with anger, clenching and raising her fist to punch the Arl, but Josephine caught her hand. “That will help nothing, Sera. Allow me.” The ice in the ambassador’s voice persuaded the rogue. Josephine took Sera’s place in front of the nobles. Dried tear tracks remained on her cheeks and her hands still quivered. The harshness in her eyes made up for the weaknesses she allowed to show.

“Inquisitor Lavellan will not see you, gentleman.” Josephine raised her voice over the nobles’ protests. “She has risked her life, once again, to save Thedas from a threat of which she had no control. We, as her advisors, must help her come to terms with what has happened and decide our next move. Word shall be sent when the Inquisitor feels ready to reconvene.”

“Now see here! I will not let some elven upstart throw these talks into the gutter.” Arl Teagan caught Josephine’s shoulder as she turned away. “She will answer for her actions and I will see this farce disband—Shit!”

A crack echoed through the hall. Josephine flinched but returned to the group without turning. Sera held Arl Teagan’s pinky in her hand. He knelt before her, twitching and pale.

“We’ve already said our piece, arsebiscuit. If’n you don’t want your other fingers broke, then scat!” Sera released him, kicking at him for good measure.

Looking past Sera to the Inquisitor’s other companions had the nobles scurrying out of the hall, their dark curses about upstarts the only thing to linger.

“That will do little to help the talks.” Josephine murmured once Sera rejoined them. “But I am glad you did it all the same.” Sera grinned, nodding. “It is no lie that we must…” The Antivan inhaled, blinking against the tears. “We must decide our next course of action.”

Thom and Varric led the way into Lin’ariel’s room, checking the corners for would-be assassins or leftover Qunari infiltrators. Once they were sure there were no threats, Bull entered and laid Lin’ariel on her bed. Thom took the place in front of the door, his hands linked behind his back. Cassandra nodded in approval. 

Cole sat on the edge of the bed, running his hand along Lin’ariel’s arm and muttering nonsense sentences meant to soothe. No one knew how to proceed when she whimpered, curled into the fetal position, and hid her face beneath the pillows.

“Kid, tell me what happened.” Varric took the spot on the other side of the bed.

“We weren’t there. The Eluvian shut after her. He wanted to talk alone.” Cole’s shoulders slumped. “I still felt, though. He let me. The old pain is warring with the new. He’s caught in the middle.” Lin’ariel flinched beneath his hand. “She doesn’t understand why he left again. He still cares, but he’d reclaim the past instead of keep the present.”

Clenching his fists, Varric cursed in his head. “So he left her again. After a world-crushing revelation, if I’ve read her story correctly all these years.” The dwarf leaned forward, slowly drawing the pillow away from Lin’ariel. He stopped when he could just see her eyes. “Can you tell me what happened, Lin?”

Focusing on Varric took effort that Lin’ariel didn’t know she had. Her voice, hoarse from crying and screaming, barely reached her friend.

“Solas…” She clenched her eyes shut, forcing her breath to slow. Her friends needed to know. The Inquisition needed to start planning. “He wants to tear down the Veil. Restore the ancient elven cities and wonders.”

“Impossible. He doesn’t have that kind of power.” Cassandra squatted just beyond Varric, straining her ears to listen.

Lin’ariel shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes once again. “He does, though. He’s always had it, and we never noticed. I never knew… I never noticed when the Dread Wolf took me.” The broken laugh that escaped her lips sent chills down Varric’s back.

“He’s not.” Varric said it, hoping he was right, hoping that her next words wouldn’t be what he thought.

“Yes. Fen’Harel still lives. And I’m still in fucking love with him.” Lin’ariel inhaled sharply, burying her face in the mattress, and let loose a scream. Varric and Cole both gripped her good arm, waiting until she quieted.

“We’ll find him, Lin,” Varric murmured. “If he still loves you, he’ll show up. They always show up when you least expect it. You won’t always like why but they will.”

“Yes. Like Bianca.” Cole added softly enough that only Lin’ariel and Varric heard.

“I wish he hadn’t taken the Anchor,” Lin’ariel whispered. “It would’ve hurt less to let it kill me.”

* * *

Lin’ariel Lavellan stormed into the Exalted Council four days later, the Tome of the Inquisition in her hand. She heard the whispers rippling through the crowd upon seeing her absent hand and ignored them. Where before she would have caved under the pressure, she now held her head high with a grim set to her lips.

She told Duke Cyril and Arl Teagan exactly what she thought of them. Yelling over the outraged cries, she officially disbanded the Inquisition. Dropping the Tome on the floor, she turned on her heel and set her heart on her new purpose.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a world to save. Again.”

Along with saving the world, Lin'ariel also hoped to find a way to save the man she loved from himself.


End file.
